Topless
It’s been ten years since I stopped going to the gym. I have yet to figure out if it’s because I lack the time or if I’m really just lazy, but it’s probably the latter. I don’t object to gyms per se, just the people who hang out there. Jaded self-optimizers, reflection-hungry teenagers, testosterone-charged perma-pumpers. I’m certain I don’t belong to any of these groups. And since “Domian” is no longer on the air, I wouldn’t even know what to listen to while I’m there. (There’s something humbling about being on the rowing machine while listening to the story of a terminally ill man).
Admittedly, the pressure is not particularly great. I’m slim – not slim enough to be cast by Hedi Slimane, but sufficient for everyday life. Much more impractical is the fact that I can’t go along with certain trends. It seems to have become fashionable to reward men for their strenuous efforts at the gym. Runways show V-necks down to the belly button and crop tops that go well beyond that. Everyone should have a view of your toned chest after all. Why else would you pay a membership fee?
Summer’s hottest trend seems to be two-pieces minus the shirt. These can be found at Saint Laurent, Tiger of Sweden, Fendi and Versace – even Prada is giving men a deep look. Unfortunately, many don’t realize that this new shirtlessness really only works on immaculate younger bodies. Adult men – with the exception of Iggy Pop – look at best like philanderers or scoundrels when parading around in shirtless suits.
Most men, after all, don’t have the babyface of Timothée Chalamet or Shawn Mendes, nor the chutzpah of Lil Nas X. Most importantly, they aren’t going to be photographed on a red carpet on any given Tuesday night. So as tempting as this style break may be: please keep your clothes on. For women in particular (but not only), it’s enough of an imposition to encounter half-naked, sweaty torsos everywhere you go in the summer. And there is one thing that distinguishes a really good shirt, and that is that it never goes out of style.
Florian Siebeck is a freelance writer for Vogue, AD and Monocle. His workout routine consists of climbing the stairs and running to the train every day.